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Feeling Guilty After Your Divorce? What Does It Mean?
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If you’re feeling guilty after your divorce, the usual feelings may be intensified. While most people typically feel anger, pain, sadness, depression and more – you may feel even worse because you have guilt eating away at you. So, what does the guilt mean and what can you do about it? This article discusses feeling guilty after your divorce, what it means and how you can use that guilt in a constructive way.
Typically, we feel guilty when we have done something wrong or in the case of divorce, when we have done something to our ex spouses that contributed to the divorce or was the complete cause of the divorce. In this case, it can be really difficult to get over the guilt and move on, but it can be done. The first things you need to do is think of the reason you’re feeling guilty. What did you do or what did you say that is making you feel guilty now? Think of the thing you have done and then accept it. This is very important – you need to accept the fact that you did whatever it was you did so that you can move on with your life.
Next, you need to realize that everyone makes mistakes and that you are human. Now, you need to take the thing that you’re feeling guilty over and use it to improve your life. Perhaps you cheated on your spouse or maybe you didn’t have enough communication in your marriage and this contributed to the downfall of your marriage. Whatever it was, recognize it and do something to work on it. For instance, you could get some counseling or therapy to teach you how to be more communicative so that this will not happen in the future. You can use your negative and guilty feelings to improve your future by preventing the same things from happening again.
If you cheated on your spouse, think of the real reason you cheated – perhaps you were insecure in your spouse’s love for you and you needed the validation of how valuable you are that cheating brings. Counseling and therapy can help you feel more secure in yourself. If you were angry, perhaps you need anger management classes. Whatever it is, it can be fixed.
When you think of your guilt and the reasons it was caused, you can either drown in the negative feelings or you can be proactive and positive – preventing yourself from getting into the same situation again. No matter what it was that you’ve done, there is a way to work on it in order to make yourself better and more knowledgeable. Guilt can often feel very bad but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Use it for your power and for a better future.
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reading your comments is helping. thank you.
So she decided to file the divorce and we both know that there is a chance to work things out. We have had our dreams and plans for the future, but now everything is gone because of her decision.
I know most of you would say "it was her decision to give you up and therefore there’s no reason to feel guilty" .. that is absolutely right.
Now she is living alone, away from me and her family, she lost so much weight and looks unhealthy and depressed. She calls from time to time and remind me of the good times we had and how we planned our family and life… etc
I feel guilty for the way I acted in the past one and a half year and also feel guilty how her life is now changing to the worse.
The divorce appointment is next week, and we will be officially divorced.
I really do care about her, and want the best for her. I wish I could see her happier one day, even though I know my future now will be very difficult with more financial pressure and lower self confidence.